构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

1. 我们要不要孩子？如果要，主要由谁来负责？

2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么？消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突？
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3. 我们的家庭如何维持？由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
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* J& b2 c5 y9 J' v4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史？包括精神上的.
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5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期？会不会给足够的祝福？
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6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧？
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7. 卧室能放电视机吗？
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8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说，并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗？
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( l( i$ I; G/ {' E* p3 |9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗？我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗？
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10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗？
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( D: U6 h( ]( s; w) i+ p4 y11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母？我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系？

  J6 f; w6 C  g- a12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么？

1 w* W8 B5 f' g1 ^6 x13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么？

* @. e8 c2 C- h& Z- m. }14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作，做得到吗？

0 L: O9 U  N& i1 ?15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走？


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+ T9 W& u/ `% i6 s+ M原文：

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
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couples should consider asking:
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1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

9 h) N/ ]5 }. E; H 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
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6 ^- z1 M2 C- ]4 J5 X* x+ ] 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

% e& j, P. Z$ H, t 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
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, q! N8 [7 c+ S( O: ~9 H# f" }/ w 5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
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6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
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7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
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9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
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3 G* f6 E" n9 I) S' a  {% o 10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
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1 T0 z4 D% {+ n. F: D% k( t 11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

9 X9 m! X9 {1 b5 b8 Q9 y  J, o 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
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' O; h. V  b( O9 m5 B+ G 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
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15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges

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# O! P! k! |4 w. K( Z- W简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础，是不是？


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