构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

4 b+ I% p: I2 G( A: L" o& N/ }) m1. 我们要不要孩子？如果要，主要由谁来负责？
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+ V% ]  c6 |- u, D) c2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么？消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突？
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( q4 V. s# d" R6 Y0 b6 W3 h  g: @3. 我们的家庭如何维持？由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?

6 o3 M7 X0 A0 Z4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史？包括精神上的.
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5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期？会不会给足够的祝福？
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6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧？
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1 x% c4 m# K, s* H7. 卧室能放电视机吗？

1 J9 b9 W5 D# q3 G4 o- ?9 A8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说，并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗？
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9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗？我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗？
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$ M# l* z  U! V7 Q1 I8 y7 z8 y4 \10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗？

11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母？我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系？
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5 [# m, n* v! g3 o0 J. k  H12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么？

13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么？

- @1 c8 b  l& f, G$ i' P3 Y3 e1 w14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作，做得到吗？
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15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走？
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原文：
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2 W5 W, C5 \7 a. C/ |5 |Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
3 N) {7 K" _& q) x: _ critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that
couples should consider asking:
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1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

& [" z  z" ^5 u, [9 z 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

! X6 X' D6 X) e' B, V. @+ @2 i 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

9 {  m. e3 @1 g/ K- o2 W 5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
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* G. j) r  v* ^! i 7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
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8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

. p+ P' \: V0 J& F 9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
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1 y! q9 M# w& y0 Z 11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?
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; k4 L2 k4 c1 F. L! T 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

1 |  R7 |, p+ N8 C 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
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15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges
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简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础，是不是？


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