构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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# n: Q! }) b/ u- t8 o! o  L8 w1. 我们要不要孩子？如果要，主要由谁来负责？

4 u, I2 q6 Q8 s* m; ]0 p6 k& z# m2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么？消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突？
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3. 我们的家庭如何维持？由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
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% n( V: ]2 w5 |; v4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史？包括精神上的.
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5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期？会不会给足够的祝福？

6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧？

7. 卧室能放电视机吗？

0 b- x# e7 j, Y0 P9 [6 j8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说，并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗？
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: R9 U  a- k3 X/ |5 W+ ?9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗？我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗？
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5 a: K9 ~1 q* ]. C5 c/ q10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗？

1 k2 Y& C/ i. c( w2 u11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母？我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系？
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: E  |8 k* e! q' J: v, G12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么？
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' k; e# h) i0 f1 a; z13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么？
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14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作，做得到吗？

& J& e% `5 N! w9 z8 ^15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走？
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2 X0 c% _" z$ t5 S$ p3 a原文：
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Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that
0 L7 y+ o( J2 D0 Q" ]0 T couples should consider asking:
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* y9 S" q  \& O: R- [( X 1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
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  }. N9 J/ E* }1 p1 O 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
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' y& O2 |0 ~4 c/ M  W( N. H$ [3 n! U( T 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
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% t8 p8 I2 F  ?) b$ d& p; s, s 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

! n9 M! S" L4 l. w8 O5 m5 d 5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
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' s% _! {, a7 z2 d5 Z 6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

" z( S/ \4 |, J3 G7 Y 7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
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& N+ b1 V0 `( u  l( r- _2 m9 M 8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
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9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
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10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
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11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?
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" k. {* c# R6 E 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
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14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
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15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges
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简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础，是不是？
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