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结婚前必需了解对方的哪些情况才能嫁?你们真的准备好迎接共同的生活了吗?
! i5 I6 }6 Z# d; n( i# F 著名的《纽约时报》“婚前十五问”,列出了婚前必需了解的15个关键问题。如果你们在这些问题上存在分歧,在结婚之前不如先思考如何解决。* V1 \& J: d9 D/ P6 `% k
关于孩子
, M, ?# ^7 n( {) l 1、我们要不要孩子?如果要,主要由谁来负责?7 w5 n! A6 B [/ t: f
Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
) h! @' z+ U+ t1 _( z3 C6 U 关于理财1 I; b3 @ e4 O
2、我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么?消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突?7 N* p6 W, D) ~
Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
4 [( V4 s2 r8 D; C8 H* B 关于主内主外) N: ?7 Q* Z+ D" u2 U
3、我们的家庭如何维持?由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
' i- X6 R8 t; A8 O Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?2 g q7 R6 S: D) n
关于病史# y Q: [+ l& d, h( \* o; N" ~
4、我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史?包括精神上的。
) |/ x3 F2 A4 `% A Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?9 p, X/ y J9 Y
关于相爱7 y( H3 |' \! Z5 U( @
5、我们互相爱的程度,达到彼此的预期了吗?6 C2 S- D" H" V1 @- m% L5 b- h
Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?6 `% Z( o X3 F8 ]5 h: } @
关于性爱. c) x( l/ \) e/ ?
6、我们是否能自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧?
4 I! Z$ g& A* Q0 s" \ Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?; C6 w, t* O+ b2 i! A2 u
关于生活
* D1 ~2 ]- @( Q+ T: l" L2 r: O 7、卧室会放电视机吗?
% Q* w/ V; V( Z% [, T9 ~ Will there be a television in the bedroom?
& }% r+ L$ J E9 b4 w8 G x 关于沟通
. ^# F G3 Q' q! x( Y 8、我们真的能倾听对方诉说,并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗?. a7 t/ n! m8 y! O4 U' Z
Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consideron_e another’s ideas and complaints?
1 ~6 P4 p$ c7 D9 e' b! d0 e& O 关于信仰
2 p4 H( L4 I2 S9 I% F 9、我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求和信仰吗?我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗?
+ m' Y* L: g- T7 o. U: S( O6 _$ { Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?1 ?7 `* l% c9 T- E/ L5 U' D
关于朋友
' d6 O0 Y# x$ R4 R- i4 T: { 10、我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗?
1 P6 ?4 Q5 r$ u& _2 k3 T; F D u0 Y- X Do we like and respect each other’s friends?( }. I9 T9 O- X0 t" u; K4 a9 ~
关于父母# r: t5 r. Z8 q/ l; } t1 i
11、我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母?我们有没有考虑过父母可能会干涉我们的关系?
5 S# |. g) d$ x. K7 N* c+ {' v. M3 v Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?& _ c R" l( `0 |1 L" E
关于家族
& W! N. c0 x2 d$ e0 L0 w: D 12、我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么?9 n4 Q* j" _ q' y( h6 z6 r! m
What does my family do that annoys you?; h) Z9 z5 ^) R4 W" e
关于坚守6 x- ~7 A# t1 @% `
13、有没有什么事情,是我们永远不会因为婚姻而放弃的?
5 U; I( S2 X, J: b Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?- a* `+ x3 f# ^( O8 ^
关于牺牲. C, e% |8 L7 D( D" J
14、如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作,做得到吗?
% ^" U: F# ]6 t. L9 ? Ifon_e of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?0 [( Z0 E# @' D4 w
关于信心
. X8 {: I' z1 z. ~" e0 [. R% B 15、我们是不是充满信心面对婚姻里的任何挑战?
1 x) L! I& J1 E; V Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
/ \( X" N, j, w4 I1 x 结婚之前,先问问彼此这15个问题。如果你们都准备好了,赶紧开始一段新的旅程吧。
: c' G) M, F: D8 Z 作者:微信公号麦子熟了(id:maizi8090),只分享经典:有趣的观点,优秀的思想,经典的文章!文章百里挑一,让阅读更富效率,让时间更有价值!遇见即改变,欢迎关注!4 w4 F6 @; P: Y
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