构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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1. 我们要不要孩子？如果要，主要由谁来负责？
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2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么？消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突？

3. 我们的家庭如何维持？由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
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: V& }8 D' x& q" R) [$ }5 L4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史？包括精神上的.

9 m. P( z% k3 q9 d; k6 J3 S5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期？会不会给足够的祝福？
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$ f: L% u3 ^. _9 q6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧？

7. 卧室能放电视机吗？
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& Q' ]  u/ g( F5 n6 O0 W1 f8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说，并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗？

9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗？我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗？

% }% e5 Q* r& p1 r3 T- G1 ^* B! b10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗？
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, `3 c  {( V* R5 J8 ]1 w11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母？我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系？
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12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么？
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13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么？

14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作，做得到吗？

1 d- L+ K! e. S7 j7 `15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走？

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原文：

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that
couples should consider asking:
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1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
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6 y4 O  Y' a# Y  ~ 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

4 _, x1 y  v$ r- P! A1 k 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

* K8 b7 G! K5 T' v! u2 @; i 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

  r" a% i% x7 }5 @$ e9 m 6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
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5 {9 {/ |9 Y; n4 O% O 7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
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8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

- `" }# t' ^3 h. N4 t 9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

( e" K  Y% m+ } 11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
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12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
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14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
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) B5 P& }% M$ ^4 K  f) b 15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges
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简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础，是不是？


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