构筑健康婚姻~~《纽约时报》婚前15问

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1. 我们要不要孩子？如果要，主要由谁来负责？

! C) `/ P1 `  S, J4 J9 V$ z2. 我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么？消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突？
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' Y5 [7 r$ H* h+ N5 x: l# a3. 我们的家庭如何维持？由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?

% v2 B% M; k( T4 H8 [) B- x4. 我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史？包括精神上的.
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# d6 o* K4 e6 L4 `5. 我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期？会不会给足够的祝福？

2 v8 ^) y6 [+ K* n, r/ J6. 我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧？
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7. 卧室能放电视机吗？
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9 c" u  D4 Z/ I0 i! H% H; y# `8. 我们真的能倾听对方诉说，并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗？

9. 我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗？我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗？
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; O6 G) m0 X  P$ A" a10. 我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗？

. Q' k. o; T/ ]7 z  t- s7 a11. 我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母？我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系？

12. 我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么？
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: C. M5 t0 B0 Q( D5 \! o13. 我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么？

14. 如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作，做得到吗？
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15. 我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走？
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7 v, J+ F$ }$ b8 S; S原文：
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Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other
1 e+ L3 z7 C2 b6 O, w, T) e critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that
: }8 X# G/ K4 X couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
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2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
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3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

1 C5 V* k& C# S' W- M$ U 6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
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2 w6 ]; \/ k& D2 _7 F- v 7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

. U2 ~0 y) H0 j/ [( ?8 j 8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
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0 j$ I% q3 n9 e# q5 ^- J 9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

. G2 ~/ n4 p' l" k- i) s 10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

, _1 i/ w( m( L* B0 d 11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

9 S2 k- c2 k, L" {3 k3 D 12) What does my family do that annoys you?
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4 K0 v, j; i6 E$ W4 G 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
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, R: i: ]2 g& T/ _& u% Q 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges
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简单说就是建立沟通和尊重的基础，是不是？


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